2:231

وَإِذَا طَلَّقۡتُمُ ٱلنِّسَآءَ فَبَلَغۡنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَأَمۡسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعۡرُوفٍ أَوۡ سَرِّحُوهُنَّ بِمَعۡرُوفٖۚ وَلَا تُمۡسِكُوهُنَّ ضِرَارٗا لِّتَعۡتَدُواْۚ وَمَن يَفۡعَلۡ ذَٰلِكَ فَقَدۡ ظَلَمَ نَفۡسَهُۥۚ وَلَا تَتَّخِذُوٓاْ ءَايَٰتِ ٱللَّهِ هُزُوٗاۚ وَٱذۡكُرُواْ نِعۡمَتَ ٱللَّهِ عَلَيۡكُمۡ وَمَآ أَنزَلَ عَلَيۡكُم مِّنَ ٱلۡكِتَٰبِ وَٱلۡحِكۡمَةِ يَعِظُكُم بِهِۦۚ وَٱتَّقُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَٱعۡلَمُوٓاْ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ بِكُلِّ شَيۡءٍ عَلِيمٞ

Waitha tallaqtumu alnnisaa fabalaghna ajalahunna faamsikoohunna bimaAAroofin aw sarrihoohunna bimaAAroofin wala tumsikoohunna diraran litaAAtadoo waman yafAAal thalika faqad thalama nafsahu wala tattakhithoo ayati Allahi huzuwan waothkuroo niAAmata Allahi AAalaykum wama anzala AAalaykum mina alkitabi waalhikmati yaAAithukum bihi waittaqoo Allaha waiAAlamoo anna Allaha bikulli shayin AAaleemun

And when you divorce women and they have [nearly] fulfilled their term, either retain them according to acceptable terms or release them according to acceptable terms, and do not keep them, intending harm, to transgress [against them]. And whoever does that has certainly wronged himself. And do not take the verses of Allah in jest. And remember the favor of Allah upon you and what has been revealed to you of the Book and wisdom by which He instructs you. And fear Allah and know that Allah is Knowing of all things.

Word by word
  1. وَإِذَاAnd when
  2. طَلَّقۡتُمُyou divorce
  3. ٱلنِّسَآءَthe women
  4. فَبَلَغۡنَand they reach
  5. أَجَلَهُنَّtheir (waiting) term
  6. فَأَمۡسِكُوهُنَّthen retain them
  7. بِمَعۡرُوفٍin a fair manner
  8. أَوۡor
  9. سَرِّحُوهُنَّrelease them
  10. بِمَعۡرُوفٖۚin a fair manner
  11. وَلَاAnd (do) not
  12. تُمۡسِكُوهُنَّretain them
  13. ضِرَارٗا(to) hurt
  14. لِّتَعۡتَدُواْۚso that you transgress
  15. وَمَنAnd whoever
  16. يَفۡعَلۡdoes
  17. ذَٰلِكَthat
  18. فَقَدۡthen indeed
  19. ظَلَمَhe wronged
  20. نَفۡسَهُۥۚhimself
  21. وَلَاAnd (do) not
  22. تَتَّخِذُوٓاْtake
  23. ءَايَٰتِ(the) Verses
  24. ٱللَّهِ(of) Allah
  25. هُزُوٗاۚ(in) jest
  26. وَٱذۡكُرُواْand remember
  27. نِعۡمَتَ(the) Favors
  28. ٱللَّهِ(of) Allah
  29. عَلَيۡكُمۡupon you
  30. وَمَآand what
  31. أَنزَلَ(is) revealed
  32. عَلَيۡكُمto you
  33. مِّنَof
  34. ٱلۡكِتَٰبِthe Book
  35. وَٱلۡحِكۡمَةِand [the] wisdom
  36. يَعِظُكُمHe instructs you
  37. بِهِۦۚwith it
  38. وَٱتَّقُواْAnd fear
  39. ٱللَّهَAllah
  40. وَٱعۡلَمُوٓاْand know
  41. أَنَّthat
  42. ٱللَّهَAllah (is)
  43. بِكُلِّof every
  44. شَيۡءٍthing
  45. عَلِيمٞAll-Knower
Al-Baqarah · 2:231Madinah

Do not hold on to someone just to hurt them.

And do not treat Allah's verses as a joke


The old trick
waiting period endsshe could move on
he
takes her backonly to block her
and
wrongs himselfthe verse's verdict
Who gets hurt
only she suffersI win
he wronged himselfAllah knows everything

Ibn Abbas and others said a man would take his wife back just before her waiting ended, only to stop her marrying again, then divorce her and repeat. Some said, I was only joking. The verse says: do not take Allah's verses in jest, and remember His favor.

Keeping an ex's things so they have to keep coming back. Refusing to sign the papers to make them suffer. Not answering just to keep them stuck. Holding on to hurt is still holding on. The person most harmed in the end is you.

If they hurt me, keeping them stuck is fair payback.

Holding someone just to harm them wrongs my own soul more than theirs.

Try this

Release one thing you are holding over someone: a reply, an item, a signature.

Simplified reflection. Read the tafsir for scholarship.draft
Tafsir Ibn Kathir

And when you have divorced women and they have fulfilled the term of their prescribed period, either take them back on a reasonable basis or set them free on a reasonable basis. But do not take them back to hurt them, and whoever does that, then he has wronged himself. And treat not the verses (Laws) of Allah in jest, but remember Allah's favors on you (i.e., Islam), and that which He has sent down to you of the Book (i.e., the Qur'an) and Al-Hikmah (the Prophet's Sunnah ـ legal ways ـ Islamic jurisprudence) whereby He instructs you. And fear Allah, and know that Allah is All-Aware of everything (231)

Being Kind to the Divorced Wife

This is a command from Allah to men that when one of them divorces his wife with a reversible divorce, he should treat her kindly. So when her term of 'Iddah (waiting period) nears its end, he either takes her back in a way that is better, including having witnesses that he has taken her back, and he lives with her with kindness. Or, he should release her after her 'Iddah finishes and then kindly asks her to depart from his house, without disputing, fighting with her or using foul words. Allah then said:

وَلَا تُمْسِكُوهُنَّ ضِرَارًا لِّتَعْتَدُوا

(But do not take them back to hurt them,)

Ibn 'Abbas, Mujahid, Masruq, Al-Hasan, Qatadah, Ad-Dahhak, Ar-Rabi' and Muqatil bin Hayyan said that a man used to divorce his wife, and when her 'Iddah came near its end, he would take her back to harm her and to stop her from marrying someone else. He then divorced her and she would begin her 'Iddah and when her 'Iddah term neared its end, he would take her back again, so that the term of 'Iddah would be prolonged for her. After that, Allah prohibited this practice. Allah has also threatened those who indulge in such practices, when He said;

وَمَن يَفْعَلْ ذَٰلِكَ فَقَدْ ظَلَمَ نَفْسَهُ

(...and whoever does that, then he has wronged himself.) meaning, by defying Allah's commandments. Allah then said:

وَلَا تَتَّخِذُوا آيَاتِ اللَّهِ هُزُوًا

(And treat not the verses (Laws) of Allah in a jest,)

Ibn Jarir said that Abu Musa (Al-Ash'ari) narrated that Allah's Messenger ﷺ once became angry at the Ash'ari tribe. Abu Musa went to him and said, "O Messenger of Allah! Are you angry with the Ash'ariyyin?" The Prophet ﷺ said:

يَقُولُ أَحَدُكُمْ: قَدْ طَلَّقْتُ، قَدْ رَاجَعْتُ، لَيْسَ هَذَا طَلَاقُ الْمُسْلِمِينَ، طَلِّقُوا الْمَرْأَةَ فِي قُبُلِ عِدَّتِـهَا

(One of you says, 'I divorced her' - then says - 'I took her back!' This is not the appropriate way Muslims conduct divorce. Divorce the woman when she has fulfilled the term of the prescribed period.)

Masruq said that the Ayah refers to the man who harms his wife by divorcing her and then taking her back, so that the 'Iddah term is prolonged for her. Al-Hasan, Qatadah, 'Ata' Al-Khurasani, Ar-Rabi' and Muqatil bin Hayyan said, "He is the man who divorces his wife and says, 'I was joking.' Or he frees a servant or gets married and says, 'I was only joking.' Allah revealed:

وَلَا تَتَّخِذُوا آيَاتِ اللَّهِ هُزُوًا

(And treat not the verses (Laws) of Allah in a jest,)

Then such men were made to bear the consequences of their actions.

Allah then said:

وَاذْكُرُوا نِعْمَتَ اللَّهِ عَلَيْكُمْ

(...but remember Allah's favors on you,) meaning, by His sending His Messenger ﷺ with the right guidance and clear signs to you:

وَمَا أَنزَلَ عَلَيْكُم مِّنَ الْكِتَابِ وَالْحِكْمَةِ

(...and that which He has sent down to you of the Book (i.e., the Qur'an) and Al-Hikmah) meaning the Sunnah,

يَعِظُكُم بِهِ

(...whereby He instructs you.) meaning, commands you, forbids you and threatens you for transgressing His prohibitions. Allah said:

وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ

(And fear Allah) meaning, concerning what you perform and what you avoid,

وَاعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ بِكُلِّ شَيْءٍ عَلِيمٌ

(and know that Allah is All-Aware of everything.) none of your secret or public affairs ever escapes His knowledge, and He will treat you accordingly.