57:23

لِّكَيۡلَا تَأۡسَوۡاْ عَلَىٰ مَا فَاتَكُمۡ وَلَا تَفۡرَحُواْ بِمَآ ءَاتَىٰكُمۡۗ وَٱللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخۡتَالٖ فَخُورٍ

Likayla tasaw AAala ma fatakum wala tafrahoo bima atakum waAllahu la yuhibbu kulla mukhtalin fakhoorin

In order that you not despair over what has eluded you and not exult [in pride] over what He has given you. And Allah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful -

Word by word
  1. لِّكَيۡلَاSo that you may not
  2. تَأۡسَوۡاْgrieve
  3. عَلَىٰover
  4. مَاwhat
  5. فَاتَكُمۡhas escaped you
  6. وَلَاand (do) not
  7. تَفۡرَحُواْexult
  8. بِمَآat what
  9. ءَاتَىٰكُمۡۗHe has given you
  10. وَٱللَّهُAnd Allah
  11. لَا(does) not
  12. يُحِبُّlove
  13. كُلَّevery
  14. مُخۡتَالٖself-deluded
  15. فَخُورٍboaster
Al-Hadid · 57:23Madinah

So you do not despair over losses or brag over gains.

Why knowing about destiny brings calm


Two reactions, balanced
what you missedwas never yours
what you receivedwas given, not earned
so
patience and gratitudegrief and joy, held well
What success means
I earned thisso I can boast
it was destined for meso I give thanks

Ibn Kathir explains: Allah told you of His decree so that you know what met you would never have missed you, and what missed you would never have met you. Do not boast, since it is not your effort alone. Ikrimah said: everyone feels joy and grief, so make your joy gratitude and your grief patience.

Your cousin got the job you applied for. You see the post and feel sick. A year later you get a promotion and want to post about it right away. Same verse covers both moments. Neither the loss nor the win is the whole story.

What I missed was stolen from me, and what I got, I earned.

What missed me was never mine. What came to me was a gift.

Try this

Think of one recent loss and one gain. Say sabr for the first, shukr for the second.

Simplified reflection. Read the tafsir for scholarship.draft
Tafsir Ibn Kathir (shared passage from 57:22)

No calamity occurs in the earth nor in yourselves but it is inscribed in the Book of Decrees before We bring it into existence. Verily, that is easy for Allah (22)In order that you may not grieve at the things over that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you. And Allah likes not prideful boasters (23)Those who are misers and enjoin miserliness upon people. And whosoever turns away, then Allah is Rich, Worthy of all praise (24)

Everything that affects Mankind, is duly measured and destined

Allah reminds of His measuring and deciding the destiny of all things before He created the creation,

مَا أَصَابَ مِنْ مُصِيبَةٍ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَا فِي أَنْفُسِكُمْ

(No calamity occurs on the earth nor in yourselves) meaning, 'there is nothing that touches you or happens in existence,'

إِلَّا فِي كِتَابٍ مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ نَبْرَأَهَا

(but it is inscribed in the Book of Decrees before We bring it into existence.) meaning, 'before We created the creation and started life.' Qatadah commented on this Ayah,

مَا أَصَابَ مِنْ مُصِيبَةٍ فِي الْأَرْضِ 

(No calamity occurs on the earth) refers to famine, while,

 وَلَا فِي أَنْفُسِكُمْ

(or nor in yourselves) refers to suffering and diseases." He also said, "We were told that every person who suffers a prick of a thorn, a twisted ankle, or a bleeding vein, has it occur on account of his sins. What Allah forgives is even more."

This great, honorable Ayah provides clear evidence to the misguidance of the cursed Qadariyyah sect, who deny Allah's Preordaihnent and His knowledge of everything before it occurs.

Imam Ahmad recorded that 'Abdullah bin 'Amr bin Al-'As said, "I heard the Messenger of Allah ﷺ say,

قَدَّرَ اللهُ الْمَقَادِيرَ قَبلَ أَنْ يَخْلُقَ السَّمٰوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضَ بِخَمْسِينَ أَلْفَ سَنَةٍ

(Allah ordained the measures (of everything) fifty thousand years before He created the heavens and the earth.)" Muslim collected this Hadith in his Sahih with the addition:

وَكَانَ عَرْشُهُ عَلَى الْمَاءِ

(And His Throne was over the water.) At-Tirmidhi also collected it and said, "Hasan Sahih." Allah's statement,

إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ عَلَى اللَّهِ يَسِيرٌ

(Verily, that is easy for Allah.) means that He knows all things before they occur, and He records them exactly as they will occur when they occur, and this is easy for Him. Verily, Allah knows what happened, what will happen and what did not happen, and what shape and form it will take if it were to happen.

Ordering Patience and Gratitude

Allah said,

لِكَيْلَا تَأْسَوْا عَلَىٰ مَا فَاتَكُمْ وَلَا تَفْرَحُوا بِمَا آتَاكُمْ ۗ 

(In order that you may not grieve at the things over that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you.) meaning, 'We informed you of Our encompassing knowledge, recording all things before they occur and creating all things in due measure known to Us, so that you may know that what has met you would never have missed you and what has missed you would never have met you. Therefore, do not grieve for what you have missed of fortune, because had it been destined for you, you would have achieved it.' (It is also recited:)

(وَلَا تَفْرَحُوْا بِمَا أَتَاكُمْ)

(nor rejoice over that which came to you) meaning, come to you. According to the recitation,

آتَاكُمْ

it means (which has been given to you.) Both meanings are related.

Allah says here, 'do not boast before people about what Allah has favored you with, because it is not you who earned it by your efforts. Rather, all this came your way because Allah destined them for you and provided them for you as provisions. Therefore, do not use what Allah has granted you as a reason to boast and become arrogant with others.' Allah's statement,

وَاللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ

(And Allah likes not prideful boasters.) meaning, who acts arrogantly with other people. 'Ikrimah commented by saying, "Everyone of us feels happiness and grief. However, make your joy with gratitude and endure your grief with patience."

Censuring the Stinginess

Allah the Exalted then said,

الَّذِينَ يَبْخَلُونَ وَيَأْمُرُونَ النَّاسَ بِالْبُخْلِ ۗ 

(Those who are misers and enjoin miserliness upon people.) meaning those who commit evil and encourage people to commit it,

وَمَنْ يَتَوَلَّ

(And whosoever turns away,) from abiding by Allah's commandments and obeying Him,

فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ هُوَ الْغَنِيُّ الْحَمِيدُ

(then Allah is Rich, Worthy of all praise.) As Musa, peace be upon him, said,

إِنْ تَكْفُرُوا أَنْتُمْ وَمَنْ فِي الْأَرْضِ جَمِيعًا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَغَنِيٌّ حَمِيدٌ

(If you disbelieve, you and all on earth together, then verily, Allah is Rich, Owner of all praise.)(14:8)