2:228

وَٱلۡمُطَلَّقَٰتُ يَتَرَبَّصۡنَ بِأَنفُسِهِنَّ ثَلَٰثَةَ قُرُوٓءٖۚ وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكۡتُمۡنَ مَا خَلَقَ ٱللَّهُ فِيٓ أَرۡحَامِهِنَّ إِن كُنَّ يُؤۡمِنَّ بِٱللَّهِ وَٱلۡيَوۡمِ ٱلۡأٓخِرِۚ وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ إِنۡ أَرَادُوٓاْ إِصۡلَٰحٗاۚ وَلَهُنَّ مِثۡلُ ٱلَّذِي عَلَيۡهِنَّ بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِۚ وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيۡهِنَّ دَرَجَةٞۗ وَٱللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ

Waalmutallaqatu yatarabbasna bianfusihinna thalathata qurooin wala yahillu lahunna an yaktumna ma khalaqa Allahu fee arhamihinna in kunna yuminna biAllahi waalyawmi alakhiri wabuAAoolatuhunna ahaqqu biraddihinna fee thalika in aradoo islahan walahunna mithlu allathee AAalayhinna bialmaAAroofi walilrrijali AAalayhinna darajatun waAllahu AAazeezun hakeemun

Divorced women remain in waiting for three periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have more right to take them back in this [period] if they want reconciliation. And due to the wives is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable. But the men have a degree over them [in responsibility and authority]. And Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.

Word by word
  1. وَٱلۡمُطَلَّقَٰتُAnd the women who are divorced
  2. يَتَرَبَّصۡنَshall wait
  3. بِأَنفُسِهِنَّconcerning themselves
  4. ثَلَٰثَةَ(for) three
  5. قُرُوٓءٖۚmonthly periods
  6. وَلَاAnd (it is) not
  7. يَحِلُّlawful
  8. لَهُنَّfor them
  9. أَنthat
  10. يَكۡتُمۡنَthey conceal
  11. مَاwhat
  12. خَلَقَ(has been) created
  13. ٱللَّهُ(by) Allah
  14. فِيٓin
  15. أَرۡحَامِهِنَّtheir wombs
  16. إِنif
  17. كُنَّthey
  18. يُؤۡمِنَّbelieve
  19. بِٱللَّهِin Allah
  20. وَٱلۡيَوۡمِand the Day
  21. ٱلۡأٓخِرِۚ[the] Last
  22. وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّAnd their husbands
  23. أَحَقُّ(have) better right
  24. بِرَدِّهِنَّto take them back
  25. فِيin
  26. ذَٰلِكَthat (period)
  27. إِنۡif
  28. أَرَادُوٓاْthey wish
  29. إِصۡلَٰحٗاۚ(for) reconciliation
  30. وَلَهُنَّAnd for them
  31. مِثۡلُ(is the) like
  32. ٱلَّذِي(of) that which
  33. عَلَيۡهِنَّ(is) on them
  34. بِٱلۡمَعۡرُوفِۚin a reasonable manner
  35. وَلِلرِّجَالِand for the men
  36. عَلَيۡهِنَّover them
  37. دَرَجَةٞۗ(is) a degree
  38. وَٱللَّهُAnd Allah
  39. عَزِيزٌ(is) All-Mighty
  40. حَكِيمٌAll-Wise
Al-Baqarah · 2:228Madinah

Be honest in hard moments. Both spouses have rights.

Truthfulness, a pause, and fairness


What the verse sets out
a waiting timea pause, not a slam
tell the truthshe alone knows
a chance to reconcileif they want repair
rights both wayswhat is reasonable
How rights work
only one side has rightsthe other just obeys
her rights mirror hisby what is fair

Ibn Kathir says Allah left women trusted as the authority on what only they know, and warned against hiding it. A return is for those who want to set things right. Ibn Abbas said: I groom myself for my wife as I like her to for me, because they have rights like those upon them.

You expect your spouse to look after themselves, be patient, keep their word. Do you do the same? The verse puts both of you under the same standard of fairness. Even in a breakup, telling the truth is still worship.

In marriage I mostly think about what I am owed.

What I expect from my spouse is the measure of what I owe them.

Try this

Do one thing today for your spouse or a family member that you usually expect from them.

Simplified reflection. Read the tafsir for scholarship.draft
Tafsir Ibn Kathir

And divorced women shall wait (as regards their marriage) for three menstrual periods, and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation. And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them. And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise (228)

The 'Iddah (Waiting Period) of the Divorced Woman

This Ayah contains a command from Allah that the divorced woman, whose marriage was consummated and who still has menstruation periods, should wait for three (menstrual) periods (Quru') after the divorce and then remarry if she wishes.

The Meaning of Al-Quru'

Ibn Jarir related that 'Alqamah said: We were with 'Umar bin Al-Khattab when a woman came and said, "My husband divorced me one or two periods ago. He then came back to me while I had prepared my water [for taking a bath], took off my clothes and closed my door." 'Umar asked 'Abdullah bin Mas'ud, "What do you think?" He said, "I think that she is still his wife, as long as she is not allowed to resume praying (i.e., until the third period ends before he takes her back)." 'Umar said, "This is my opinion too." This is also the opinion of Abu Bakr As-Siddiq, 'Umar, 'Uthman, 'Ali, Abu Ad-Darda', 'Ubadah bin As-Samit, Anas bin Malik, Ibn Mas'ud, Mu'adh, Ubayy bin Ka'b, Abu Musa Al-Ash'ari and Ibn 'Abbas. Furthermore, this is the opinion of Sa'id bin Musayyib, 'Alqamah, Aswad, Ibrahim, Mujahid, 'Ata', Tawus, Sa'id bin Jubayr, 'Ikrimah, Muhammad bin Sirin, Al-Hasan, Qatadah, Ash-Sha'bi, Ar-Rabi', Muqatil bin Hayyan, As-Suddi, Makhul, Ad-Dahhak and 'Ata' Al-Khurasani. They all stated that the Quru' is the menstruation period. What testifies to this is the Hadith that Abu Dawud and An-Nasa'i reported that Fatimah bint Abu Hubaiysh said that Allah's Messenger said ﷺ to her:

دَعِي الصَّلاَةَ أَيَّامَ أَقْرَائِكِ

(Do not pray during your Aqra' (pl. for Quru', the menstruation period).)

If this Hadith was authentic, it would have been a clear proof that the Quru' is the menstruation period. However, one of the narrators of this Hadith, Al-Mundhir, is an unknown person (in Hadith terminology), as Abu Hatim has stated, although Ibn Hibban has mentioned Al-Mundhir in his book Ath-Thiqat.

A Woman's Statement about Menses and Purity is to be accepted

Allah said:

وَلَا يَحِلُّ لَهُنَّ أَن يَكْتُمْنَ مَا خَلَقَ اللَّهُ فِي أَرْحَامِهِنَّ 

(...and it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs,) meaning, of pregnancy or menstruation periods. This is the Tafsir of Ibn 'Abbas, Ibn 'Umar, Mujahid, Ash-Sha'bi, Al-Hakam bin 'Utaybah, Ar-Rabi' bin Anas, Ad-Dahhak and others.

Allah then said:

 إِن كُنَّ يُؤْمِنَّ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الْآخِرِ

(...if they believe in Allah and the Last Day.)

This Ayah warns women against hiding the truth (if they were pregnant or on their menses), indicating that they are the authority in such matters as they alone know such facts about themselves. Since verifying such matters is difficult, Allah left this decision with them. Yet, women were warned not to hide the truth in case they wish to end the 'Iddah sooner, or later, according to their desires. Women were thus commanded to say the truth (if they were pregnant or on their menses), no more and no less.

The Husband has the Right to take back his Divorced Wife during the 'Iddah (Waiting Period)

Allah said:

وَبُعُولَتُهُنَّ أَحَقُّ بِرَدِّهِنَّ فِي ذَٰلِكَ إِنْ أَرَادُوا إِصْلَاحًا

(And their husbands have the better right to take them back in that period, if they wish for reconciliation.)

Hence, the husband who divorces his wife can take her back, providing she is still in her 'Iddah (time spent before a divorced woman or a widow can remarry) and that his aim, by taking her back, is righteous and for the purpose of bringing things back to normal. However, this ruling applies where the husband is eligible to take his divorced wife back. We should mention that (when this Ayah 2:228 was revealed), the ruling that made the divorce thrice and specified when the husband is ineligible to take his divorced wife back, had not been revealed yet. Previously, the man used to divorce his wife and then take her back even if he had divorced her a hundred separate times. Thereafter, Allah revealed the following Ayah (2:229) that made the divorce only thrice. So there was now a reversible divorce and an irreversible final divorce.

The Rights the Spouses have over Each Other

Allah said:

وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

(And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable,)

This Ayah indicates that the wife has certain rights on her husband, just as he has certain rights on her, and each is obliged to give the other spouse his due rights. Muslim reported that Jabir said that Allah's Messenger ﷺ said:

فَاتَّقُوا اللهَ فِي النِّسَاءِ، فَإِنَّكُمْ أَخَذْتُمُوهُنَّ بِأَمَانَةِ اللهِ، وَاسْتَحْلَلْتُمْ فُرُوجَهُنَّ بِكَلِمَةِ اللهِ، وَلَكُمْ عَلَيْهِنَّ أَنْ لَا يُوطِئْنَ فُرُشَكُمْ أَحَدًا تَكْرَهُونَهُ، فَإِنْ فَعَلْنَ ذَلِكَ فَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ ضَرْبًا غَيْرَ مُبَرِّحٍ، وَلَهُنَّ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

(Fear Allah regarding your women, for you have taken them by Allah's covenant and were allowed to enjoy with them sexually by Allah's Words. You have the right on them that they do not allow anyone you dislike to sit on your mat. If they do that, then discipline them leniently. They have the right to be spent on and to be bought clothes in what is reasonable.)

Bahz bin Hakim said that Mu'awiyah bin Haydah Al-Qushayri related that his grandfather said, "O Messenger of Allah! What is the right the wife of one of us has?" The Prophet ﷺ said:

أَنْ تُطْعِمَهَا إِذَا طَعِمْتَ، وتَكْسُوَهَا إِذَا اكْتَسَيْتَ، وَلَا تَضْرِبِ الْوَجْهَ، وَلَا تُقَبِّحْ، وَلَا تَهْجُرْ إِلَّا فِي الْبَيْتِ

(To feed her when you eat, buy her clothes when you buy for yourself and to refrain from striking her on the face, cursing her or staying away from her except in the house.)

Waki' related that Ibn 'Abbas said, "I like to take care of my appearance for my wife just as I like for her to take care of her appearance for me. This is because Allah says:

وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِي عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ

(And they (women) have rights similar (to those of their husbands) over them to what is reasonable.)" This statement is reported by Ibn Jarir and Ibn Abu Hatim.

The Virtue Men have over Women

Allah said:

وَلِلرِّجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةٌ

(but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.)

This Ayah indicates that men are in a more advantageous position than women physically as well as in their mannerism, status, obedience (of women to them), spending, taking care of the affairs and in general, in this life and in the Hereafter. Allah said (in another Ayah):

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ

(Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.)(4:34)

Allah's statement:

وَاللَّهُ عَزِيزٌ حَكِيمٌ

(And Allah is All-Mighty, All-Wise) means, He is Mighty in His punishment of those who disobey and defy His commands. He is Wise in what He commands, destines and legislates.