Quran Universe
9:90

وَجَآءَ ٱلۡمُعَذِّرُونَ مِنَ ٱلۡأَعۡرَابِ لِيُؤۡذَنَ لَهُمۡ وَقَعَدَ ٱلَّذِينَ كَذَبُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُۥۚ سَيُصِيبُ ٱلَّذِينَ كَفَرُواْ مِنۡهُمۡ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٞ

Wajaa almuAAaththiroona mina alaAArabi liyuthana lahum waqaAAada allatheena kathaboo Allaha warasoolahu sayuseebu allatheena kafaroo minhum AAathabun aleemun

And those with excuses among the bedouins came to be permitted [to remain], and they who had lied to Allah and His Messenger sat [at home]. There will strike those who disbelieved among them a painful punishment.

Word by word
  1. وَجَآءَAnd came
  2. ٱلۡمُعَذِّرُونَthe ones who make excuses
  3. مِنَof
  4. ٱلۡأَعۡرَابِthe bedouins
  5. لِيُؤۡذَنَthat permission be granted
  6. لَهُمۡto them
  7. وَقَعَدَand sat
  8. ٱلَّذِينَthose who
  9. كَذَبُواْlied
  10. ٱللَّهَ(to) Allah
  11. وَرَسُولَهُۥۚand His Messenger
  12. سَيُصِيبُWill strike
  13. ٱلَّذِينَthose who
  14. كَفَرُواْdisbelieved
  15. مِنۡهُمۡamong them
  16. عَذَابٌa punishment
  17. أَلِيمٞpainful
At-Tawbah · 9:90Madinah

Some came with excuses; some did not even ask.

Two kinds of staying behind

Around Madinah
those with excusescame to explainasked permission
those who liedjust sat at homedid not even ask
What made the difference
staying back itselfthe only issue
honesty about itcoming forward and explaining

Ibn Kathir describes bedouins living around Madinah who came to the Prophet ﷺ to explain their weakness and inability to join. Ibn Abbas said they had valid excuses. Others, who had lied to Allah and His Messenger, simply stayed home without asking.

You cannot make it to your friend's event. One way is to call, explain honestly, and apologize. The other is to go quiet, leave the messages on read, and hope no one notices. The verse treats those two very differently.

If I cannot do it anyway, explaining does not matter.

How honestly I face what I cannot do matters to Allah.

Try this

If you are avoiding someone because you let them down, send an honest message today.

Simplified reflection. Read the tafsir for scholarship.draft
Tafsir Ibn Kathir

And those who made excuses from the bedouins came asking your permission to exempt them (from the battle), and those who had lied to Allah and His Messenger sat at home (without asking the permission for it); a painful torment will seize those of them who disbelieve (90)

Allah describes here the condition of the bedouins who lived around Al-Madinah, who asked for permission to remain behind from Jihad when they came to the Messenger ﷺ to explain to him their weakness and inability to join the fighting. Ad-Dahhak said that Ibn 'Abbas said that they were those who had valid excuses, for Allah said next,

وَقَعَدَ الَّذِينَ كَذَبُوا اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ

(and those who had lied to Allah and His Messenger sat at home), and did not ask for permission for it; and Allah warned them of painful punishment,

سَيُصِيبُ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا مِنْهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيمٌ

(a painful torment will seize those of them who disbelieve.)